K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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