She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
