that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
