i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
