This show inspires me to have sex in space
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
