how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
