No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
