And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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