we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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