So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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