How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
