i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
