yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
