How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
