Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
