You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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