My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
