What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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