I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
