I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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