there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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