i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
