It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
