Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
