Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
