My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
