ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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