Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
