ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
