Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
