I think my fart just growled at me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
