i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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