Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
