before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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