dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
