tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
