Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
