So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize