i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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