If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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