I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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