youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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