Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
