if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He is an equal opportunity slut.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
