38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
