I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
