My ATM looks so different sober.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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