Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
