Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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