Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I pour the whiskey from now on
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
