Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize