I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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