When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
