More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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