Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
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