I need help removing her.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
