dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
