Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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