Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize